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Everything I need to know I learned from the emerging church

If this is not obvious enough, THIS IS SATIRICAL. Do not take it seriously or take it as my point of view, ok? Be humorous.

2. Controversy is the key to publicity.
5. I blog, therefore I am.
8. Using big words is a really easy way to win theological arguments. E.g., "Au contraire, I believe using a deconstructive hermeneutic is far superior, in light of the postmodern tendency to reject the metanarrative."
9. If you have a problem, it's probably theological.
10. Don't judge a book by its cover; judge it by its endorsements.
12. It's not the size of the church that counts, it's how you use it.
13. Swearing and drinking are acceptable, even encouraged.
14. Worship music is shitty (See #13).
15. When in doubt, deconstruct.
16. Using Latin words and phrases in place of English ones not only sounds more authoritative, it totally ups your street cred.
17. If all else fails, hold a conference/convention.
20. Everything Must Change.
25. Wisdom is bestowed upon the ‘wearer’ of black-rimmed glasses.

The full list

PS. I found the above photo on a free stock photo site, and the pair of eyeglasses in the photo is actually identical to my last pair.


  • 正如林一峰話齋,閱讀,也是一種 state of mind。
  • 所以不限文字,還有聲音影像一切雜崩能東西,都在涉獵反思消化乾坤大挪移之列。
  • 看重的只有一個字:Insight


I work at Westside Baptist Church. Of course, that doesn't mean they agree with everything I post or link here. Everything here is my personal opinion and is not read or approved in advance. Consider yourself warned.