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Insights from Day 5 at CN705

  • The coffee industry will be today's tobacco industry in the future.
  • 2Cor 2:15-16 - The fragrance of Christ is from the perfume used to anoint a dead body. It is fragrance of life and the aroma of death at the same time.
  • Anger as feeling is always valid – but may not be justified (misperceptions etc). One feels for a reason – even if its not a good reason. But anger as behavior is seldom valid – except in extreme cases of self-defense or danger.
  • Anger is like a boomerang - you throw it out to hurt someone but it came back to hurt you.
  • We should never equate the wrath of God with human anger. There is no such thing as "righteous anger", only "anger of the righteous one."
  • Justice does not need to be motivated by sustained anger.
  • The angry feeling is neutral, but it is dangerous.
  • 雅各書1:20 人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。
  • Anger can be a conditioned response. It can be unlearned - just like temper tantrum.
  • Ventilation does not release the anger, it rehearses the anger.
  • No mater how terrible things are, always greet your spouse with a smile when you go home.
  • Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you back.
  • Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness is a personal and private decision and only involves ourselves. I cannot request the other party's apology or confession as a condition for our forgiveness.
  • God has forgiven us before we confess our sins. Our confession is a requirement for reconciliation, not forgiveness.
  • Forgetting has nothing to do with forgiveness. Forgiveness is not emotional but an ethical choice.
  • Forgiveness doesn't take a long time. It is just a decision in a moment. But it may take a long time to bring yourself to the position where you can forgive.
  • Don't tell the person that you have forgiven him/her unless they ask you for that. Write down your forgiveness and get rid of it. Don't ever send it. Otherwise you are just punishing him/her.


Great insights.

BTW, I hope you don't mind (but let me know if you object to this) -- I've incorporated these insights into a slide deck for marriage counseling and it's available here: http://www.slideshare.net/ahtimsir/debt-cancellation-in-marriage

of course i don't mind. =)

Post a Comment
  • 正如林一峰話齋,閱讀,也是一種 state of mind。
  • 所以不限文字,還有聲音影像一切雜崩能東西,都在涉獵反思消化乾坤大挪移之列。
  • 看重的只有一個字:Insight


I work at Westside Baptist Church. Of course, that doesn't mean they agree with everything I post or link here. Everything here is my personal opinion and is not read or approved in advance. Consider yourself warned.