Monday, January 31, 2011

Insights from Day 6 at CN705

  • Sexuality: Excessive denial a major weakness, and our silence about this topic will be our greatest downfall.
  • Steven Berglas (of Harvard Medical School): The Four A's of Success: Aloneness (loss of accountability), Arrogance (loss of humility), Addiction (pursuit of novelty), Adultery (pursuit of pleasure)
  • Pastors are more likely to attract transference than any other helping professionals. And it is the reason for many extra-marital affairs for pastors.
  • Only honesty and a matching ruthlessness in our quest for biblical truth can provide a balanced and healthy sexuality for both men and women.
  • H.B. London: Some sheep bite.
  • We need to laugh more. Ministry is often too serious and we lost our humour along the way.

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Friday, January 28, 2011

Insights from Day 5 at CN705

  • The coffee industry will be today's tobacco industry in the future.
  • 2Cor 2:15-16 - The fragrance of Christ is from the perfume used to anoint a dead body. It is fragrance of life and the aroma of death at the same time.
  • Anger as feeling is always valid – but may not be justified (misperceptions etc). One feels for a reason – even if its not a good reason. But anger as behavior is seldom valid – except in extreme cases of self-defense or danger.
  • Anger is like a boomerang - you throw it out to hurt someone but it came back to hurt you.
  • We should never equate the wrath of God with human anger. There is no such thing as "righteous anger", only "anger of the righteous one."
  • Justice does not need to be motivated by sustained anger.
  • The angry feeling is neutral, but it is dangerous.
  • 雅各書1:20 人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。
  • Anger can be a conditioned response. It can be unlearned - just like temper tantrum.
  • Ventilation does not release the anger, it rehearses the anger.
  • No mater how terrible things are, always greet your spouse with a smile when you go home.
  • Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you back.
  • Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness is a personal and private decision and only involves ourselves. I cannot request the other party's apology or confession as a condition for our forgiveness.
  • God has forgiven us before we confess our sins. Our confession is a requirement for reconciliation, not forgiveness.
  • Forgetting has nothing to do with forgiveness. Forgiveness is not emotional but an ethical choice.
  • Forgiveness doesn't take a long time. It is just a decision in a moment. But it may take a long time to bring yourself to the position where you can forgive.
  • Don't tell the person that you have forgiven him/her unless they ask you for that. Write down your forgiveness and get rid of it. Don't ever send it. Otherwise you are just punishing him/her.

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Insights from Day 4 at CN705

  • To grief is to understand the meaning of the our loss to us. We need to know what we are saying goodbye to before we can really say goodbye to end the depression.
  • You cannot move forward with your life without grieving your loss.
  • Finding a substitute is just short-circuiting the grieving process. By substituting you are holding onto your loss and the depression can never end.
  • We create unnecessary losses by not adjusting our values from previous depressions.
  • After all the psychological issues are sorted out, what we are left with are theological issues. There is no solution and hope except to submit to God's sovereignty.
  • We do not need cheap "bible verse" comfort, but we need to process our losses with biblical truth.
  • Reactive depression is a tool for self-growth. We learn more from depression than from success.
  • In the digital revolution, change is coming not just to how we counsel, but what and who we counsel.
  • Facebook Depression is already a proper diagnosis.
  • Texting has a reward reinforcement pattern in our brain similar to slot machine.
  • We believe that we are good at multitasking. Scientific studies show that we are not (35% worse performance when multitasking).
  • Multitasking improves our feeling (it makes you feel capable), but destroys our productivity.
  • Multitasking is an addiction.
  • The brain is not designed for multitasking. Period.
  • When multitasking, we are using the more pleasant tasks to help us sustain the less desirable tasks. This is not helpful in our character development.
  • We are distracting ourselves to death.
  • We are taught to value multitasking because it creates more business.
  • Two-thirds of US undergrads now score 30% higher on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory.
  • Instead of using the Web to learn about the wide world, the young use it to gossip about each other and follow pop culture.
  • Students now are using drugs like Adderall (for treating ADHD) as neuro-cosmetic to compensate for their loss of intelligence and attention due to their digital lifestyle. This is crazy.

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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Insights from Day 3 at CN705

  • God is not so much interested in what you do but who you'll become.
  • Surviving ministry is a matter of surviving depression.
  • It is a high priority for pastors to prepare the people to deal with loss.
  • Within 5 to 10 years, every teenager will be on antidepressant.
  • Spurgeon: "Repose is as needful for the mind as sleep is to the body. Our Sabbaths are our day of toil, and if we do not rest upon some other day we shall break down."
  • Disillusionment is inevitable when we “idealize” a calling.
  • Abuse and misuse of our physiology is too easily “justified by our cause”.
  • Everybody needs to be an expert in sleep. Seriously.
  • Sometimes God do not prevent us from the consequences of our stupidity, but this is not for punishment but for discipline.
  • Exercise plays a critical role in the regulation of our cortisol level.
  • Some sleeping pills are just anaesthetics. They are not giving you sleep but are just shutting down your brain, which doesn't bring rejuvenation.
  • Chronic stress can reduce the size of the Hippocampus in our brain by 30%, which reduces our ability to learn and to forget. Yet this is reversible by physical exercise, and by experience of love.
  • Stress relates to the issue of control. To what extent do you have control over your life? We feel stress when we feel lack of control (helpless and hopeless). Therefore, the janitor is more stressed then the CEO, and the pastor is more stressed then the janitor (because s/he has the most bosses)
  • If you surrender to the symptoms of depression, you will probably get through reactive depression sooner.
  • Female feels their depression; male acts out their depression (such as through rage and addiction).
  • Most male depression cases were misdiagnosed because all tests and assessment methods are female-based.
  • We have adopted a theology and psychology of "feeling good" and it is tragic. Feeling good is of lowest priority. Survival is.
  • Studies show that just by talking to a patient can change the biology of his/her brain. That's why psychotherapy works. That's also one of the reasons why preaching works.
  • An observation: The classroom projector is not working but it is ok, because only 2 person in our class of 25 do not have a laptop in front of them with the powerpoint file already distributed to them through the class online forum. The 2 person who don't have a laptop use iPads. So we don't actually need the projector. It has become obsolete.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

機會

我一直有點介懷,當上一代堅持新一代有許多機會,而新一代又總是埋怨機會太少,我們所說的,是一種怎樣的機會?甚或,究竟是否同一回事?

記得某次與某政府高層荼聚,他搖着頭說:「我就是不明白,怎麼今日年輕人都說沒有機會。看你!說遲職便遲職,要寫作便寫作,上一代那奢侈得起?」

然後,我終於明白雞同鴨講的原因。

高層說的,是選擇的機會。相比往日,行業、工種、聘用形式,都更多元化,是不爭事實。上一代生活艱難,不胼手胝足苦幹,開不了飯。今日我們三餐不愁,選擇自由,還怨三怨四,不是不長進是甚麼?

然而在後生眼中,卻又是另一個故事──我們有許多橫向的選擇,卻無甚機會縱向往上游。

生活無憂,可以享受過程;然而前無去路,也就只能享受過程。
每一代的處境,也是獨一無二的,無需誇大也無容輕視。我只希望,對照比較,不為標籤謾罵,只為認清自我。不以時代為恥,不以自我為傲。從這一點起,不慌不忙再出發。

原文出自「光明女樂」blog by 黃明樂

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Insights from Day 2 at CN705

  • The primary function of the brain is not to remember but to forget.
  • Feel-good movement cushions dysphoria and avoidance of anger, sadness and anxiety.
  • Feeling bad is an important alarm system that causes pain to prompt changes.
  • By encouraging cheap success it has produced a generation of very expensive failures!
  • James Packer: “The shift of Christian interest away from the pursuit of holiness to focus on fun and fulfillment, ego-massage and techniques for present success, … is a sad and scandalous fact, and one that needs to be reversed.”
  • The human brain is designed to deliver happiness.
  • Depression can in fact be a healing emotion – if you cooperate with it.
  • Contemplative spirituality is much needed in this highly stressful world for us to maintain our mental and emotional health.

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Monday, January 24, 2011

Insights from Day 1 at CN705

  • The pastoral ministry is one of the most (if not THE most) emotionally hazardous vocations. (Hope: But it needs not be so)
  • About 20 years ago, one-third of evangelical pastors have extra-marital sex with a member of the congregation. (Hope: It has improved since then)
  • We are facing an unprecedented period of conflict between clergy and the people.
  • Our digital lifestyle, because of the neuroplasticity of our brain, is robbing us of our ability to contemplate and threatening our capacity for spirituality. It is also making self-care a lot more difficult. (Calling: "Be still.")
  • We have to learn to live within our limits.
  • "My prayer to you all is that you will die before you are finished."
  • Success is a bonus given for our faithfulness, not the reward.
  • Resist the obsession to be successful, because it only sets us up for profound burn-out.
  • "All that is not the love of God has no interest to me."
  • "The usefulness of my life is His concern, not mine." It is not our responsibility to make sense of my life.
  • Finishing well starts at the beginning.
  • We have to learn to manage our pleasure system.
  • Boredom is a gift God has for us. (The brain as a machine needs to have its down time.)
  • The point of going on a vacation is to be bored. (AMEN!!!)
  • There is a connection between boredom and holiness ("Be bored and know that I am God"). Don't entertain people in worship, bore them into holiness.
  • Play to an audience of one instead of to the grandstand. (And we have to identify our grandstand.)
  • "I used to do conferences together with Rick Warren and Bill Hybels. They did their things and I corrected them." (To those who don't get it, this is a joke.)
  • (This is for my dear brother Felix) "Golf is not a game worth pursuing."
  • "I believe the telephone is Satanic and demon-possessed."

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Friday, January 21, 2011

在死亡面前,你最好同我收聲

如果這世界有上帝,我就不能像佛門人仕說甚麼生老病死苦本是人之常態。我怎能停止在接受生命常態的地步而不去問生命的主宰個究竟。這樣問其實是信心的表現,我信上帝,我信生命比死亡更好,我信友情,我信親情,我信有夢想有愛的人能為這世界帶來光與熱... 我越信這些我就越顯得不信上帝,不順上帝。我越信慈愛善良我就越不信慈愛善良的上帝,我就越要用信心來生活,我要用近乎迷信的信來對付自己的不信。所以我要等,我要等一個答案。[...]

對於死我們尚且無能。對死亡背後那更勁的上帝,我們簡直不能言語,只能仰望祂的慈愛,期望祂的恩典,更原諒我們的無知與狂妄。

原文出自「講台上下」blog by 陳華恩

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

各家自掃門前雪

想寫曾俊華那個廣告很久。我不知道這廣告的拍攝手法好不好,那個留意見留鬚的動作設計成不成功;我想說的是這個廣告所反映的思維。先看看這廣告的內容:

廣告一開始是財爺「鬍鬚曾」問:「如果你係我,你會點制訂下年度嘅財政預算案?」。接著,廣告以貼「鬍鬚」的形體動作,來增強感染力和視覺效果。先是OL、然後小學生、足球員、伯伯和婆婆,都貼上鬍鬚提意見。各人提問內容:「如果我係財爺,我會繼續促進經濟發展、創造就業」、「我會係教育方面畀多d資源」、「我會加強推動體育同文化發展」、「我會改善長者福利」、「仲會照顧弱勢社群」。最後,財爺利用方法演技的技巧,加入了一個笑聲,然後說大家不一定要留鬍鬚,也可在登上網站www.budget.gov.hk發表意見。

既然拍得成廣告,特區政府相信也認同廣告背後的思維。你看到廣告中,不同背景的人,都是從自身利益出發,提出意見,希望曾俊華如何幫助該組群的人。例如中環OL就支持經濟發展、足球員就要求更多資源發展體育、小孩就提出增加教育開支。當然,這是無可厚非的,每人都會比較關心自己所屬的社群的需要。這個廣告可以無止境拍下去,圖書館使用者會增加圖書數量、輪候骨灰龕的人會要求增加骨灰龕的數量,如果我也有份拍,那就一定是增加市區的單車徑。

其實廣告是塑造思維的好工具。透過廣告來創造消費需要我們都明白,透過廣告來塑造公眾思維是我們要多加對抗的戰場。這個廣告表面上有道理,在推廣我們都要為自己的利益發聲,好像很開明。但是廣告內沒有人提出對整體有利的意見,彷彿我們沒有人關心其他人的需要,彷彿我們不用關心社會整體的利益。這個就是政府現今的管治策略,把公民社會不同群體拆散,只看到自己群體需要,只爭取自己群體的需要。其實群體面對著差不多的問題和需要,但大家都各自修行,中正政府下懷。結果,反高鐵是80後的事、The Icon是有錢買一千萬單位的中產一族的問題。但上面的中環OL其實也可以關心舊區重建強拍的問題、足球員也可以要求訂立競爭法、小學生亦可以提出普選、伯伯和婆婆可以關注西九發展,而我,當然可以對抗地產霸權,一年唔幫襯大地產商。

要塑造思維,令大眾純粹以自身利益出發,需時不多,十年八載小成,二十年功德完滿。我們只有努力加餐飯,令身邊人更多關心公共生活,公眾利益。

原文出自「一年唔幫襯大地產商」blog by 龐一鳴

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Monday, January 17, 2011

words that heal

But at a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized -– at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who happen to think differently than we do -– it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we’re talking with each other in a way that heals, not in a way that wounds.
US President Barack Obama

Remarks by the President at a Memorial Service for the Victims of the Shooting in Tucson, Arizona

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Monday, January 03, 2011

CN705 Reading Notes (4)

I want a revival that, like a summer shower, will purify the atmosphere of our churches everywhere, and which will awaken the dormant forces of our people young and old. I want something so general and so divine that it will be uncontrollable. I want something that will reemphasize old-time moral and spiritual values. Something that will reform and regenrate down and out sinners and save respectable worldlings. Something that will bring in the youth and the little children. Something so attractive that it will break over into the circles of the pleasure-loving. Something that will set people on their back tracks to make restitution for wrongs committed. Something that will bring God to bear upon cultural problems like divorce and racism. Something that will inject old-time honesty, veracity, and purity, and other-world-mindedness in our preachers and people. Something that will make the namby-pamby, soft-handed, compromising, cringing sort of Christianity as obsolete as Phariseeism was on the day of Pentecost. Something that reveals a minister's credentials by souls saved and established in Jesus Christ.

(p.52-53)

Neil B. Wiseman, quoting J. B. Chapman, They Call Me Pastor

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Saturday, January 01, 2011

接班人

管理學必備一章──領導層接班人的提拔、栽培和訓練。領袖和接班人如果能從「訓練班」出來,那是多麼的好!不過,事實不是那麼理想。上一代領袖欽點和訓練出來的接班人,未必能為下一個世代所用。

約書亞是摩西一手提拔的助手(民十一28),跟隨摩西三、四十年。約書亞的按立禮是隆重的,摩西在全會眾之前,委派他「治理會眾」,做「羊群的牧人」。[...] 不能說約書亞做領導不如摩西之處是他沒找接班人。他沒把打來的江山為霸業,而解散以色列人,著他們去佔各自的地業。


原文出自時代論壇第一二一八期.二○一一年一月二日教牧熱點,作者羅錫為

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彌敦道大集團趕絕繡花鞋老店


於佐敦彌敦道舊樓下「擺檔」的先達商店,靠賣「繡花拖鞋」撐足半世紀,被遊客視為瑰寶,更獲外國旅遊書捧為購物熱點。老闆鍾球今年84歲,一心以為可與老店終老,但上月業主寄他一封律師信,請他今個月尾「執包袱」。雖然鍾伯自願加租,期望繼續經營,但業主堅拒,只求老店盡快消失於滿是「大集團」的彌敦道。

屹立半世紀 遊客熱點

彌敦道是集團連鎖店表演「自我膨脹」的最佳舞台,具香港特色的老店近乎絕迹。屹立彌敦道大街、賣繡花拖鞋的先達商店,幾乎是彌敦道的「最後老店」。這間「佐敦先達」吸引力不亞於「旺角先達」,遊客絡繹不絕,老闆鍾球說:「日本人很喜愛有中國特色的東西,試過有人花千元買繡花拖鞋。」

老店夾在零售化妝店的兩個舖位中間,在一棟滿是「劏房」的舊樓下,令它更顯老而彌堅。行動緩慢、只餘幾絲白髮的鍾球,指着幽暗的樓梯說:「以往樓上全都是醫生診所,但全都搬走了。」鍾伯憶述,六七暴動的彌敦道,全都是軍隊:「係軍隊,唔係警察呀!你一伸個頭出來,便一槍打死你。」如今再「伸個頭」出來看,是一個個拖行李箱的自由行旅客。

連鎖店天下 店員冷冰冰

今時今日,彌敦道成為連鎖店的天下。見證彌敦道變天的鍾球說,以往左鄰右里有賣綢緞、也有賣水果,每間舖結束營業時,伙記也一一過來道別:「我們走喇,你自己保重呀!」近年,彌敦道天天換畫,他的老店兩旁來了「莎莎」做伴,名字親暱,距離卻很遙遠。

在鍾伯口中,大型連鎖店的伙記都是「高高在上唔睬人」,感覺冷冰冰。「我們以前不時和隔離舖頭嘅伙記傾偈,問人借個洗手間小便都好方便,而家行入去這些店,人哋一定唔會借畀你。新時代,唔同晒。」

鍾伯在1950年代與朋友王先生一起賣繡花拖鞋,一做便是52年:「我一生人的青春都喺晒度㗎喇……我賣的都係古董,以前邊有咁多日本膠拖鞋!」最佳拍檔王先生已仙遊,王的兒子王景華(Billy)認為老店的繡花拖鞋很別致,大有市場,故寧放下平面設計工作,頂替父親與鍾球「拍住上」。

只有20呎的舖位在彌敦道站穩逾半世紀,店內無「有型有格」的射燈,只有幾條實而不華的光管。一對對自家設計的繡花拖鞋,質地有布有膠,款式有男士功夫鞋、女裝平底鞋任君選擇,賣39至280元,豐儉由人。廠房在香港,加工在內地,招牌大無畏寫上「Made In Hong Kong」(香港製造),鍾球說:「我擔心客人以為是內地貨嘛!」

難原區另覓新舖

昔日業主講感情,鍾伯交700元租金便可開門做生意,「但業主下一代接手後,兩三個星期前便叫律師寫了封信畀我,話租到2011年1月31日,無人情講,即使我願意加租,但人家說:『我係唔鍾意租畀你。』咁我有乜辦法?」Billy說,正着手覓新舖,但一定不能「原區安置」,計劃「上樓」搬到附近的寶靈商場:「要趕快通知熟客和旅遊書商,告訴他們我們快搬走。」

戰前出世的鍾伯堅持不退休,一廂情願想繼續和連鎖店在彌敦道上共舞。鍾伯講了個很老套卻令人尊敬的答案:「我要自力更生,最多政府畀份生果金。自己開檔做生意仔,過吓日辰嘛!」也許大集團連鎖店愛演獨腳戲,不用老店做舞伴。本月尾,繡花拖鞋,請你下台。


原文出自2011年1月2日明報港聞,記者姚國雄

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  • 正如林一峰話齋,閱讀,也是一種 state of mind。
  • 所以不限文字,還有聲音影像一切雜崩能東西,都在涉獵反思消化乾坤大挪移之列。
  • 看重的只有一個字:Insight

Disclaimer

I work at Westside Baptist Church. Of course, that doesn't mean they agree with everything I post or link here. Everything here is my personal opinion and is not read or approved in advance. Consider yourself warned.